Failure to Success

  

  
  It would be commonplace to begin by quoting sugary motivational quotes. To talk about how there is always a light at the end of the tunnel, a silver lining in the midst of dark clouds and so on.

  It’s all poetic to say that failure paves the path to success. But the hard truth is that failure can be very hard to swallow. It can bog you down into the pit of pity or pin you against the wall of despair, hopelessness and low confidence like a bulldozer. It can push you into being almost nonexistent.

  Yet, the stories of inspiration, of women not being deterred by failures should not and do not come as a surprise. They have risen like a phoenix to conquer the world and if not so dramatic, to conquer at least their own lives.

“Research has shown that women are judged more harshly for their 
                   mistakes than men and may respond by being more risk averse”

  
   The thing is, when you don’t fail, you don’t allow yourself to become stronger in that process, resulting in more resilience — which is a key part of being a successful leader.

  Some of these women are celebrities, the known faces, which were probably unknown to the world at some point. But their grit, character, resilience, and talent could not hide nor throw them off their chosen paths. They shine today bright enough to inspire and guide many others who might find themselves in the same hollowness and darkness of failed attempts.

  Here is taking a look at one of the famous women who is successful today, but only after she met her fair share of failures.

  The story you are about to read is a reflection of how in our Indian households, the pressure to bring better percentage is so high, that a child’s fears, stress and anxieties often get neglected.

  Many people, thankfully, have proved that more often than not, failures become stepping stones to success and IAS officer Anju Sharma from Jaipur, is one of them who at the age of 22, becoming one of the youngest IAS Officer in the State.

  If had she not failed her Chemistry paper in tenth pre-board exam, she would never have developed a preparation strategy for all her upcoming exams and life.

From Failing her Chemistry Pre-Boards to Conquering UPSC

  
  Recalling the night before the chemistry paper, Sharma, who is currently posted as Principal Secretary, Higher and Technical Education, Gujarat.

“I had so many chapters to cover and it was almost post-dinner when I started panicking. I was so unprepared that I knew I was going to fail, something that is looked down upon. At one point I burst into tears. What made the situation worse was that the paper was for pre-boards. Everyone around me stressed on the fact that how the performance of tenth grade is crucial as it determines our higher studies.”

  She even felt a pinch of guilt for disappointing her parents, who were always proud of her high marks in school exams. Nonetheless, she faced the dreaded day and as she had feared failed her Chemistry paper.

  When the results came out, her mother consoled her and assured her it was okay. “Don’t lose your heart” were her exact words.

  Her parents always believed that children should learn from their failures. They weren’t upset about her results. She think that support from her parents as a child shaped how she perceived her failures.

  Sharma feels that leaving everything for the last minute and lack of preparation translated into her low marks. Interestingly, the night she thought her world was crashing down around her, was the same night when this failure acted as an eyeopener. She realised the value of being prepared as a failsafe against such incidents. This is when she cracked an easy formula that would eventually help her to clear UPSC in the first attempt.

  Her formula was to always complete the syllabus well in advance and take a break on the eve of any examination. “It changed her life. She learnt about the repercussions of my own actions.

  Applying her mantra, she went on to complete her BSc and MBA from the University of Rajasthan in Jaipur where was a gold medalist in both!

  When Sharma decided to appear for the UPSC Civil Services in 1991, she had no one but herself to prove that she could crack the exam with hard work and sticking to her strategy of completing the syllabus well in advance to get ample time for revision. In fact, the day before she was to appear, Sharma was “chilling” and “relaxing”.

  When the UPSC results were announced, her neighbours were surprised to hear her name, “Some people commented saying ‘yeh ladki toh hamesh ghoomti rehti thi, isne kaise clear kiya’, (This girl was always chilling. Then how come she cleared the exam?)”.

  Sharma dispels the notion that there is no one formula to get high marks or crack any competitive exams.

“All you need is a strong will, focus and determination. Approach the studies with utmost sincerity without worrying about the results. Do not put your entire life into it. Remember UPCS civil services are only an exam, you will get innumerable chances to make things right. Choose the study pattern as per your comforts,” she said.

  Meanwhile, for parents, she adds, “Instead of hammering your already stressed-out kid, talk to them and understand them. Support and love them unconditionally irrespective of the exam results. If you don’t judge them, they always come to you in turbulent times. They will have someone to lean on. Prepare them to accept failures with grace.”

  But in this tough competition parents forget about their children and push them hard for get better mark which result in the depression among the children and even which lead them to commit suicide.

  By this blog I just want to ask the parents is the mark is so important or the smile of their children? this question remain unanswered till today even when the suicide rate is being increasing in this country every year.

All I can say :-

Girte hain shahsawar hi maidan-e-jung mein
Woh tifl kya gire jo ghutno ke bal chale

– Mirza Azeem Beg